The Turkey That Wouldn't Fly: I was hosting a Thanksgiving barbecue in San Francisco (we can do that in this climate). The grill was knocked over by a guest who had more than their share of champagne, and the turkey rolled off of the patio, and fell 4 stories to the street below. This was all about 1/2 hour before we were going to eat. I could have prevented this disaster by simply moving the grill farther away from the patio's edge, and serving less champagne. -- Retromarin, San Francisco, CA
Pass the Fruit Salad: One year, when we were living in LA, we invited our trainer (who was of course an actor) to join us at Thanksgiving. He neglected to tell us until he was at the groaning table that he had recently decided to become a "Fructarian" which meant he was eating only fruit. While we all (tried) to chow down, he ate a single pear and talked relentlessly about the benefits of eating only fruit. He also mentioned that there were people who were "breath-arians" and that was his ultimate aspiration. Needless to say, it was challenging to enjoy the meal. And that was his last invite to our dinners! -- Beth Colt, Woods Hole, MA
Green Intentions: My boyfriend and I decided to host some friends for our first attempt at preparing Thanksgiving dinner. We reserved a hormone-free, free-range, raw turkey from the spendy new organic market downtown. We didn't own a car, so Brian picked it up after work the night before Thanksgiving, strapping it with a bungee cord to the rack on the back of his bicycle. It was dark, and pouring rain (it does that in San Diego every once in a while)when he rounded a corner going full speed in rush hour traffic. The 20+ pound raw turkey failed to position itself correctly through the turn, and Brian lost control on the slick pavement. Brian, the turkey and bike slid along the pavement for a few yards, but luckily weren't hit by a car. The bike wheel was too bent to roll, so he arrived home with bike and turkey in the back of a cab, soaking wet and looking pathetic. We had to scrub all the asphalt and gravel out of the turkey before cooking it, and one side of the turkey still had severe road rash. Brian cleaned-up a little better. Our friends enjoyed the story, even if the turkey was pretty sad-looking. -- Amy Rowland, San Diego
Blame it on the Cat: The first year I spent thanksgiving with my new in-laws, we were enjoying conversation while waiting for dinner to cook when the house filled with the most horrible smell you can imagine. My mother in law explained that she'd spilled onions on a burner. The house was aired out, and we enjoyed a lovely meal. Years later, after my mother in law had gotten to know me better, she admitted that the smell had actually been a result of her very ill-behaved cat peeing on one of the burners ... and she'd instructed my father in law to not touch that burner ... and he'd forgotten. -- Margaret Crites
Turkey en Flambé: This year we were running late because I had forgotten a special bottle of wine I wanted to share and we'd gone back home to get it. Dinner was supposed to be served at 4:00 and we finally arrived at 3:30. As we walked down the path to their front door, we were greeted by my sister in law yelling, "Gang way - watch out - coming through" and out of the front door she ran with a pot of heavily smoking artichokes. Little did we know what was in store. As we walked in the kitchen, we noticed on the table a completely uncooked totally raw - turkey. (Remember dinner was supposed to be ready in a half an hour?) "Oh don't worry," they said, "we're barbecuing the turkey and it only takes 45 minutes." Except the barbecue hadn't been started yet.
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